Fifty thousand different kinds of sneakers

Sporting goods stores! There are other items in the world aside from team jerseys, running shoes, and yoga pants! Dgmw, I know those are big sellers, and I will not knock either the desire to do the joggy yoga thing or cover yourself head-to-toe in Eagles/Phillies/Union gear (sorry Flyers fans, but that is some ugly shit). HOWEVER. I should not have to look this hard for a kettlebell. I'm going to go to Kmart, aren't I. You're forcing me. KMART IS THE WORRRSSST. Fuckin Gallery Mall.

(I am trying to avoid mailordering 20 pounds of metal so no ecommerce links pls.)

I will say though, thank you Modells for selling me a shiny new jump rope, which is adjustable omg the pains of being a shortass PARTIALLY RELIEVED.