Congratulate me, step right up, shake my hand

GUYS. Let's make a list of movie adaptations that are as good as or better than their source.

I WILL BEGIN.
Better than: Bladerunner, Kiss Me Deadly, The Godfather pts 1 & 2
As good as: Night and the City (The plot may be mangled, but Dassin translates Kersh's poetic griminess perfectly. Also Richard Widmark's face.)

(I still want a movie of Prelude to a Certain Midnight sooo baaad but idk the likelihood of a movie with a deeply flawed, old-school-bamf, middle-aged single woman as protagonist.)

I'd list 2001 but I haven't read the story it's based on. Hmm.


C'mon help me out here. Every time someone cries online about how Hollywood should stop adapting novels, the sound of my teeth grinding is audible from the moon.

Work tonight was exhausting, one of those shifts where I had to simultaneously run food, bus a table, answer the phone, and seat a table. At one pt I picked up the phone while holding a billion plates, and the guy was so vague and so dumb and it Just Kept Going and by the time I could hand him over to the manager I'd sweated so hard on the reciever I needed two napkins to wipe it down. Mad gross. Also I have like a not-quite cold where my nose runs and I snorfle it down and my stomach is like, what is this nonsense? And I'm all, I know bro, it's pretty bogus.


So! Apparently there's a record store like three blocks from the restaurant. It's big and jammed with quality selections of vinyl and music books/dvds. I could have bought everything but limited myself to three 7"s (Boys Life/Giants Chair, Manumission's "Binary Lung" ep, and Impel/The Division of Laura Lee; the Manumission is an Ebullition release and still has all the ephemera, incl a cheesy poem by the guy who ran the label. WHY CANT I QUIT YOU, 90S HARDCORE). I plan on wasting great piles of money there in the future.

Also, my blender choked and died on hummus. HUMMUS. Chickpeas. Life is so unfair.

I cooked up some celery root last night and my apt still smells like twenty bales of celery. What?


TEN SAD DR WHO MOMENTS MEME

( THAT FEEL WHEN TIME TRAVEL )


In other news, I am apparently about to go to a hookah bar. Whoops?

I've been futzing around with LibraryThing for the past hour. I'm not really sure of the point - to keep track of things? Make to-read lists? Stare with great satisfaction at My Library and all the tiny pretty jpgs?

My technique involves sitting here thinking vaguely about books I've read, adding three new entries, pausing to shove more cucumber+hummus (SO DELISH) into my face, pausing to regain my momentum, repeat. I feel like this would be a neat resource once I catch up but I can't imagine caring long enough for that to happen.

ANYWAY. Who else LibraryThings? Lemme be a creeper @ u.

Sporting goods stores! There are other items in the world aside from team jerseys, running shoes, and yoga pants! Dgmw, I know those are big sellers, and I will not knock either the desire to do the joggy yoga thing or cover yourself head-to-toe in Eagles/Phillies/Union gear (sorry Flyers fans, but that is some ugly shit). HOWEVER. I should not have to look this hard for a kettlebell. I'm going to go to Kmart, aren't I. You're forcing me. KMART IS THE WORRRSSST. Fuckin Gallery Mall.

(I am trying to avoid mailordering 20 pounds of metal so no ecommerce links pls.)

I will say though, thank you Modells for selling me a shiny new jump rope, which is adjustable omg the pains of being a shortass PARTIALLY RELIEVED.

ATTN RESIDENTS OF PHILADELPHIA, BOSTON, CHICAGO, AND DALLAS: we recently signed up at DiningIn at [workplace], and it seems to be a pretty sweet deal. There's a delivery fee and auto-grat, so it's pricier than regular take-out (esp. if you're just getting one thing), but I'm guessing it averages out to the same or less as eating out at the same place, once you figure in transportation costs. If you're looking for good food without the hassle of a ~fine dining experience~, it's worth checking out.

NOTE: the categories seem to be a little wonky (it's a site full of restaurants that aren't neccessarily the most adept at this sort of thing), so your best bet is to search your zipcode and narrow down from there. It looks like some places deliver anywhere and some keep a tighter radius, and I don't know if the delivery service has a temp-control system, so use your judgement when ordering from outside your neighborhood.


If anyone's used DiningIn before, let me know about your feelings, good and bad. We're kind of flying blind at [workplace] and I give an inordinate amount of shits about service.

Dept. Of Dusting Off Old Journal Features:


FILM NOIR OF THE NOW
Woman on the Run, dir. Norman Foster, scr. Alan Campbell/Norman Foster, 1950. Starring Ann Sheridan.



I got a deal for you. You find your husband, with my help. Give me an exclusive for 24 hours and I'll get my paper to pay you for it.

Trying to buy me, so soon?

First I'll try to buy you, then I'll try to win you.

Isn't that the reverse of the usual procedure?

I'm a perverse fellow. On second thought, Mrs. J, I find you very attractive. I may try and win you right off.

No thanks, I'd rather be bought.

Very mercenary.

RECAP: A struggling painter with a heart condition witnesses a murder, and flees the scene when he realizes that testifying in a trial would get him killed. His hardboiled wife, with the help of a cynical reporter, tries to track him down to give him his reverse-MacGuffin heart pills, while dodging a detective hell-bent on getting his witness.

THIS SHIT IS AWESOME: Ann Sheridan! Witty banter! A guided tour of San Francisco! And, the clincher, a brilliant ending set-piece involving a rollercoaster and one of those terrifying animatronic laughing sailors.

FOR FANS OF: The Lady From Shanghai, The File on Thelma Jordon, fierce ladies, San Francisco

Bonus: it's public domain, holla.

RECOMMENDATION TIME!

I'd thought A Public Space #15 would be out, since apparently I have no concept of time, and stared angrily at the lit mag rack forever until I chanced upon the 2012 edition of Jelly Bucket, which I'd never heard of before, probably because I was busy spending all my money on APS. It's got a similar mix of poetry, fiction, essays, art, and interviews - which, a lot of quarterlies etc understandably focus on two or three of those, so it's nice to find another journal that covers all my nerd bases. PLUS. The cover feature is deconstructed book art (Joe Decamillis) and who doesn't love that shit.

Anyway. I'm still poking through it, but I'm enjoying it so far. If you, like me, enjoy reading new stuff while also putting your eyeballs on some interesting art, do pick up a copy if you can.

Meme time! Pick up the nearest book to you.
Turn to page 45.
The first sentence describes your sex life in 2012.


"It is just so interesting," he says at last. "The colors and all."

"Human Moments in World War III", Don DeLillo, from The Angel Esmerelda


HMM.

Dept. of Dodgy Canon: I tend not to truck with PDAs, but the idea of the Deca is too good to pass up. Especially since I just discovered Vansell was in it.
Being a person who is apparently writing juvenile delinquent fanfiction, I kind of want to see how other people do it, except I am always wary of school fic bc the little of it I've read is false in a really awkward way. But. Deca recs, anyone? Theta/Koschei? ANYTHING WITH BABY VANSELL IN IT OH GODDDDD.

Am I the only person on the planet who doesn't care about the new Sherlock? I didn't dislike the first season, but there's really nothing in it that excites me. Hmm.

In other news, I went thrifting for lamp parts and came home with a new flat cap instead, bc it's not like I don't have enough of those. Am still intent on making a lamp, though, my kitchen cabinets cast unfortunate shadows and I got the itch to Make Shit.